What are the characteristics of a mature personality? What are the traits you see in people that are matured emotionally, psychologically and otherwise? Maturity, you will always find someone to tell you that you miss it. But concretely, what does that mean? And how to become more “mature”. Beginning of response in three points.
The “lack of maturity” is the criticism that kills, the unstoppable weapon often unleashed by an elder – teacher, parent, facilitator, boss – to put you down or nail your beak. “You lack maturity, that’s all!”
But the murder phrase can also be thrown by your girlfriend and be even harder to take.
The problem is, this maturity story seems elusive. OK, I don’t have character traits of a mature personality, I let myself be invaded by my emotions, I zap all the time, I find it difficult to commit myself, to work, but what can I do?
Three verbs can help to understand better, and especially to progress. To be a mature personality is to see, judge and act .
Being more mature in your way of life means knowing how to string together these three acts, a bit like you inhale and exhale in order to breathe. And this can apply to all areas of our life: leisure, love life, choice, orientation, job, initiative …
1 / See the real for me and for others
The first fundamental trick is to see. See what ? See the needs, the gaps, the situations .
I invited some friends over tonight, but I see the fridge is empty. It means that I will look, open my eyes and my ears.
The best of the best is to be attentive not only to yourself but also to others . “In my first summer camp as an animator, I was responsible for a group of children all day long. I had to watch them but above all to make sure that there was no problem between them and that the more discreet ones didn’t ‘were not’ victimized ‘by others, “said 19-year-old Jean-Baptiste.
See, it can also just go for an information: check the weather before leaving in the mountains, going out about a job, make a phone call to a friend to see if they go well …
To gain a matured personality: If you are particularly dreamy, in the moonlight, not concrete, not very organized, or a little personal, rather lonely, even shy, this is the number 1 point that must be improved. Open your antennas a little wider to reality, and pay more attention to what is going on around you.
2 / Judge to analyze and take a step back
Step number 2: judge the situation or the fact that you have just observed. Be careful, it is not a question of having an immediate opinion, or a peremptory judgment, but of analyzing by taking a step back.
Example: a medical student, Clélia finds a roommate offer. He likes the apartment, but the other students play music. The student weighs the pros and cons : proximity to the university is a plus, but she fears being hampered in her work by her roommates.
Take the time to think, it is often just taking the time, avoiding hasty decisions that lead to mistakes. Seek advice too. “I discovered an accessible commercial training without the baccalaureate which thrilled me, says Bastien, 20 years old. But after talking to a lot of people, I ended up giving it up and decided to retry the baccalaureate”.
“During our training as an educator, we are taught that it is not enough to have good will to help. We have to understand the situations : this avoids bad interpretations”, explains Marie, 21 years old.
Understanding is therefore essential, and not only in the field of work: in friendship, in love and in all areas of life, it is not forbidden to exercise your intelligence,
To gain a mature personality : get in the habit of thinking more before any decision or action, especially if you quickly get carried away by your emotions or your desires. The impulsive, the passionate, the emotional or even the great romantics will have every interest in developing this point: “to judge” does not detract from their sensitivity, quite the contrary!
3 / Act step by step
This is the final stage of maturity. Faced with a problem that you have identified (step 1), and analyzed (step 2), you find an appropriate answer and you put it into practice. Many dreams or beautiful projects never see the light of day for lack of action!
Acting after seeing, reflecting and choosing: this is the method used by all great strategists, business leaders, sailors and it is the one that will allow you, for example, to build a professional project – or any life project – motivating and realistic.
Xavier wants to become a fighter pilot and pass the air force selections. His problem: his level of English is insufficient to allow him to succeed. After reflection, he considered several solutions and finally left to work for a year in England.
The action well prepared – or well matured – generally makes it possible to achieve the set objective. It opens the doors to new experiences that lead you to make even more decisions. Isn’t success at the end of the road? We must once again see, judge and act to bounce back.
To grow in maturity: Do not always put off until tomorrow what you have decided to do after reflection. If you lack will, courage, initiative, set small goals for action and move step by step towards the goal but do not stay at square one. Optionally, give yourself small rewards at each step.
And rest assured: we are not born mature, but we gradually become mature by dint of seeing, judging and acting in the right tempo.