Relationship

How to recover from a sudden breakup: Moving forward after a separation

Posted by John Anumba

A sudden breakup is always a tough time to go through, no matter how old you are or what time in life you are in. 

However, it is often a decisive step, which will allow you to move forward and resume your life as you wish. 

But how do you get over a sudden breakup?

We will give you our few tips to get your life back in hand, and get you over this separation as quickly as possible.

Summary

How to recover from a brutal breakup: a tough time on both sides

When we talk about breaking up and discussing how to start a new life after a divorce or separation, we often speak from the point of view of the person who suffers the end of the relationship, and rarely from that of the one who puts an end to it. 

However, in both cases, it can be a very difficult situation to live with.

Making the decision to end a love affair can be very difficult. As time goes by, you may find that you don’t like this story anymore, and that you need something else in your life.

How to recover from a sudden breakup

A sudden breakup could also be prompted by various reasons, including the following:

  • Your gesture is driven by infidelity. You can’t get over the fact that your partner has gone elsewhere, for you it puts an end to your relationship.
  • Your partner isn’t treating you the way they should, and you want to end this affair. He is violent, he neglects you, he speaks badly to you… You have to say stop.
  • You yourself have feelings for someone else. You are in a relationship but you are attracted to another, you want to end your story before cheating on your partner.
  • You are no longer satisfied with your life, you want to regain your freedom to act as you wish, and this is not possible by staying in a relationship with this person.

There are a number of other reasons, they are yours, and everyone should respect them.

However, before making this decision, long weeks could pass where you think only of one thing: the consequences of the end of your story. 

Because even if you are the instigator of this separation, that does not mean that the time is not difficult for you too.

Whatever your reasons, you will end a more or less long story, and it always hurts. You will have to relearn how to live on your own, and resume your own habits. 

You might be scared to start a new life after a divorce, and it could take you months to get through the separation process.

So, at the time of a separation, everyone suffers. It is therefore important to know the different techniques that will allow you to get through this difficult period of your life as quickly as possible.

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How to recover from a sudden breakup: clearing it

To get over a sudden breakup as quickly as possible, it will be very important to clear your mind. 

By this expression, we express the fact that you will have to do your best to stop thinking about your story. You will have to put these memories aside, to be able to move forward.

The path to this life alone could be strewn with pitfalls, especially if this abrupt breakup doesn’t just involve you, and there were children in your story. 

You will have to gradually regain your marks. Assert yourself in your life, and start over on a blank page.

Start over

Your relationship is over, that’s a fact. So, it’s time to take matters into your own hands, and start your life from scratch. You will have to make a clean sweep of the past, to start again on a good basis. 

To start again from zero, it will be important to empty yourself, and to remove everything that was related to your previous couple.

Memories together, furniture you bought together, or even habits you both used to have. You will need to take your life back into your own hands, putting aside anything that shouldn’t be in your life now.

By starting from scratch, you will see it more clearly, and it will help you to see in which direction you would like to evolve.

How to recover from a sudden breakup-2

How to recover from a sudden breakup: cut all contacts

Sometimes it’s tempting to keep in touch after a breakup, especially if the breakup is particularly brutal. 

You still think that it would be possible for your ex-partner to come back to you, you keep the idea of ​​reforming a couple together in the future. These toxic thoughts will prevent you from taking your own path in life.

To avoid having to think about it on a daily basis, you should cut off all contact with this person. 

Delete his phone, make sure you don’t have to run into him, and if that feels good, ask your loved ones to stop talking to you about him. In this way, you will be able to mourn without being obsessed with his thought.

Get away from your daily life

Take some fresh air, and get away from your daily routine. It can often do you a lot of good. Put aside your work and your imperatives for a week or two, and go to the sun, or to a place that makes you dream.

Alone or with a friend, make time elsewhere, away from anything that could worry you or cause you pain. 

Discover a new culture and let yourself go, without thinking about anything other than the moment you are living. It will certainly do you the greatest good.

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Change what no longer suits you

In your life as a couple, you have certainly developed habits and made choices that no longer suit you today. 

This is no longer the path you want to take today, and you should change what is no longer right for you as soon as possible.

It could be a change in your dress style, or in your hairstyle for example. It could also be a bigger change. 

A new life, a new activity, the resumption of your studies for example. Do what you need to do to change what is no longer like you in your current life.

How to recover from a breakup: don’t spy on your ex on the internet

To put your story behind you once and for all, you’ll need to make sure you don’t spy on your ex on social media. 

It can be very tempting! However, you will have to do your best to resist the temptation, because giving in to it will not bring you any good.

You might want to find out if your if your ex is back in a relationship, and if he has resumed his normal life. 

However, it is not his stories that will teach you what he does with his life! Stop thinking about your ex, and focus on the life you want for you.

Say goodbye to people who don’t do you good

A breakup could also be the perfect time for you to say goodbye to those people who are not bringing anything good in your life. It could be friends or acquaintances giving you thoughts about the way you live your life, and what you should do to improve it. 

They can tell you that you were better off with your ex. Or they don’t understand your separation.

Say stop to these toxic people. You should surround yourself with people who understand you and who support you in this ordeal. People who make sure to support you, to help you move forward.

List the positive points of this breakup

Although it may seem difficult at the start of your separation, it is a technique that can help you see your breakup in a new way. 

Take a piece of paper and a pencil, and make sure you find 20 positive points in your breakup.

These can be various points, as important as they are insignificant. It may seem impossible to you to find 20, however, you will see, you will eventually get there! 

When you have completed your list, review it regularly.

Among these points, you could talk about having more room in your bed, choosing the programs on TV… or finally being able to live in the city that attracts you so much! 

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You will quickly see that this list will help you move forward.

How to recover from a sudden breakup: take back the reins of your life

Now that time has done its work and that your breakup is no longer as recent, you can take back the reins of your life by being active again in your daily life.

Little by little, you will regain confidence in yourself, and you will take advantage of the opportunities offered by this new life.

Achieve what you’ve always dreamed of

What is your biggest dream ? When you were in a relationship, asking yourself this question might seem impossible to you. 

First of all, you had to think about your projects together, before you became interested in your own dreams. However, you are now free to work to achieve them as quickly as possible!

It could be a drastic change in your life. Or even adopting a pet if that’s what you’re dreaming of. Think about yourself, and take the time to achieve your dreams. 

With a little motivation, you could hit the nail on the head! This will allow you to give a new perspective to your life, to embark on a new adventure.

Live your life the way you want it

You can do whatever you want. Get up when you want, eat what you want when you want… Everything is possible now. Take advantage of this to make your own choices, and to live your life the way you want to.

You are the only person in charge of your life, and anything goes! So, don’t force yourself if you don’t want certain things. 

And on the contrary, embark on new habits if that inspires you. Make choices for yourself, without waiting for someone else’s advice. You will certainly find this very liberating.

Meet new people!

When you think you have fully recovered from your breakup, you can get back into the dating market if you want. 

Now that you’ve tasted the pleasures of celibacy, you may want to look for someone who will allow you to complete your life and share good times, rather than a central person around whom everything should revolve.

Go out and have as much fun as you want, until you find someone who will make you want to take it further. Don’t be in a rush to find love again, but don’t worry too much about how to react out of fear of commitment when you find the right person.

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