How to overcome trust issues in your relationship

Posted by John Anumba
How to overcome trust issues in your relationship

Trusting yourself plays a big role in a happy relationship. Learn how to resolve trust issues in your relationship by following these steps.

Love is predictable enough to begin with, isn’t it?

There are just two paths you can take when you enter a relationship and go through the infatuation phase.

You can stay happy.

Or you can find yourself frustrated and heartbroken.[Read: The 9 stages of love you experience in every relationship]

Fortunately, it only takes a few months for your mind to realize which path you are taking in love, good or bad.

And even if you’re frustrated with your current love life, that doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is over.

It just means that you and your lover have some issues to work out.

Trust and other problems in a relationship

For most of us, even when we realize we’re not in a perfect relationship, we don’t do anything to fix it over the months.

We don’t get out of it, nor do we try to communicate and change for the better.

And then we whine about how unfair love is to us.

But if you think about it, the direction of your relationship is in your hands.

Anytime you find yourself on the wrong path, you can be heading in the right direction through better understanding, or you can let go of the wheel and find a new love story. [Read: 12 real signs of true love in a happy relationship]

Trust and fault finding in a relationship

When you find yourself unhappy in a relationship, it’s not always your fault. You must remember this. A relationship involves you and your partner. So if either of you isn’t happy, you both have to work together to mend the relationship. 

Trust is the foundation of a perfect relationship. When you trust each other and understand each other, it prevents insecurities and frustrations from arising.

If you are hurt in love, it is your lover’s responsibility to reassure you and help you feel better in your relationship. Well, that’s if your lover cares enough to see you happy. And likewise, it is your responsibility to help your lover understand and trust you when he feels threatened. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and make it stronger]

Even in a happy relationship that has stood the test of time for several years, trust issues might spring up out of nowhere, especially when an attractive new friend or secret falls into romance.

Trust and the threshold of change in love

We all have a threshold for change in a relationship. And it completely depends on how much we want the relationship to be successful.

When two people enter into a new relationship, both individuals must create a new identity, and both must be flexible and ready to make compromises to fit in perfectly with each other’s lives. But the extent to which a lover compromises himself for the other depends on how much he desires the other. The less your lover compromises for you, the more you would doubt his love for you.

The higher your doubts, the more insecure you will feel in the relationship. And the more insecure you feel, the more you would doubt your lover. It’s a vicious cycle that will make you both hurt, bitter and angry. 

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Trust and insecurity issues

You may love your partner a lot, but if you don’t trust them, you can never really feel safe in the relationship. You would always be suspicious of anything he does, and you would always doubt his love for you.

Trust issues in a relationship can lead to intense depression and frustration. And the more frustrated you are, the more you’ll strain to hold on to your partner in fear of losing them altogether, which can make you a clingy, controlling lover * and there’s nothing worse than that *.

10 Reasons why you have trust issues in your relationship

There are many reasons why you may doubt your partner or have trust issues, but they generally fall under these 10 reasons.

# 1 You think your partner is lying to you very often.

# 2 You think your partner lacks integrity. You cheated on someone in a previous relationship / You cheated on someone and * knowing how easy it is to cheat * you assume that your partner can cheat behind your back too.

# 3 You don’t know much about your partner’s life and what they do when you’re not around.

# 4 You don’t know your lover’s friends and their inside jokes that make you feel insecure when they’re around.

# 5 Your partner is a secret. * lock their phone or often delete their messages *

# 6 You feel threatened by your lover’s friendship with someone you don’t know well. [Read: Why a guy’s best friends are just trouble for a girl]

# 7 You’ve had bad dating experiences where a former lover betrayed your trust.

# 8 Your partner doesn’t share details of their life with you as much as you share yours with them.

# 9 Your partner becomes enraged when you enter their private space without their permission.

# 10 Your lover flirts with other people.

If you are in a happy relationship based on trust, these 10 reasons may seem trivial. But if you’re not sure, even the smallest of these reasons could make you sulk around the corner of the room. [Read: 10 biggest problems in a relationship and ways to fix it ]

Talk to your partner about it

Don’t be ashamed to let your partner see your weak side. Relationships are built on trust, and it’s important that your partner knows exactly how you are feeling. If something is bothering you, don’t hide it even if it seems trivial or embarrassing.

If your partner loves you and wants you to be happy, they will try to understand your concern and help you overcome your trust issues.

How to help your partner overcome their trust issues

Does your partner have trust issues in the relationship? If you are having a hard time convincing your lover that you are faithful and that you have no intention of cheating on him, here are six ways to help that special person in your life overcome their trust issues.

# 1 Open up to your sweetheart . 

Your partner may feel insecure in the relationship if they think you are not communicating well with them. If your lover asks you about something, don’t give abrupt answers or leading lines. Instead, communicate and have a conversation.

# 2 Talk about your everyday life. 

Talk about your day, the little things you did, and the people you interacted with. When your partner feels like he knows what you did when he wasn’t around, it will help him feel more secure in love.

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# 3 Introduce your friends. 

Introduce your lover to your friends, especially those your partner feels threatened with. Let your love bond with them so that they feel like part of your circle of friends. As long as your partner feels involved in your group of friends, they will feel less threatened by those who are attractive and delicate. 

# 4 Show them you care. 

Shower your lover with compliments and reassuring words. Remind them how much you love and need him. Sometimes your partner may feel uncomfortable when they don’t hear these loving words often.

# 5 Talk about your secrets. 

Revealing a few secrets can instantly bring two people together. It happens all the time, between friends and definitely between lovers too. When your lover feels like he knows more secrets than you do, he’ll feel more special and reassured.

# 6 Don’t be distant. 

Don’t get angry or bored when your sweetheart craves your attention unnecessarily. Your lover is afraid that you will leave him. Think about their perspective, and if you really care about keeping your lover happy, help him through this difficult time.

How to overcome your own trust issues

Do you find yourself frustrated and annoyed because you believe your partner is too distant or not communicating enough with you? Talk to your lover and help him see the issues through your eyes. And once you’ve done that, use these five steps.

# 1 Try to think from your partner’s point of view. What would you do if you were in his shoes? Be honest with yourself and think rationally instead of hastily judging them.

# 2 Ask your partner to help you. Be honest about how you feel instead of fighting back with frustration or giving your lover the silent treatment. [Read: The right way to use silent treatment in a relationship]

# 3 Talk. Every night, calmly tell your partner any time you feel threatened or insecure. It will help your lover understand what is bothering you, and at the same time, he can also explain to you.

# 4 Don’t repeat your lessons. If you mind your lover holding a friend’s hand while talking, talk to your partner. Tell them how you felt and ask them how they would feel if you did the same.

If your partner helps you see their point of view and you are happy with their response, that should be the end of the problem. The next time the same problem arises, you should be able to deal with the problem on your own without asking your partner for an explanation again.

# 5 Learn to reason with yourself. If you’ve followed these steps, and you’re still struggling to overcome your trust issues, you really have some ideas to do. Is your partner trying hard enough to help you overcome your insecurities? Or are you just not able to cope with your partner’s active social life, even after they constantly reassure you? Or, are you in a relationship where you can no longer deal with insecurities?

Be patient and work together

Regardless of who has trust issues, you or your partner, you should know that it can’t be flattened overnight. It takes time, sometimes a week or two, and sometimes even a few months.

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Building trust in a relationship takes a lot longer than it takes to lose trust.

But if your partner isn’t able to get over their trust issues, no matter how you are or how willing you are to lean back or give them all the life, maybe it’s time to ask for help. from a friend or a professional. Or walk for good.

Almost always, a partner with serious trust issues might start out sweet and sad, but turn into a demanding lover who orders you all the time. Most demanding enthusiasts show signs of insecurity at first, and no matter how much you give them, they would always want more of you. 

Use these steps to help your partner get better, but if you think it’s not worth it, maybe your own happiness may be more important to you than the success of the relationship. There is nothing wrong with that, it only helps you understand what is most important to you.

Trust issues and the love puzzle

Not all relationships are built the same. Some perfectly happy lovers are addicted to each other, while other perfectly happy lovers like to keep a little space in between. Some lovers are monogamous, others are swingers or live in open relationships.

We are all unique and have our own desires for a relationship. But that doesn’t mean that one relationship is better than the other. There is no perfect recipe for love. It’s as unique as the people there. 

So if you have used all of these steps on how to overcome trust issues in a relationship and are still struggling to overcome your insecurities, maybe the relationship you are in is not the right one for you. You and your lover can be the perfect individuals, but as a couple, the two might not be the best choice in the puzzle.

Sometimes even two perfect individuals can’t create a perfect relationship no matter how hard they try.

Use these steps sincerely and get over your trust issues, but if it still doesn’t work, you need to either try harder or back away from it before you find yourself hurt more than ever.

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