Personality

How to Know you are Dating a Narcissistic Man

Posted by John Anumba
9 signs that prove you've been abused by a narcissist

Have you ever dated a narcissistic man?

Some women date narcissistic men without realizing it. If you need signs that prove that the man you are in a relationship with is a narcissist, you are in the right page.

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder lack empathy and think they are superior to others. In addition, they have a need for attention and admiration that goes beyond all limits.

This is why a narcissistic partner tends to manipulate and control his partner. Unfortunately, this often involves emotional manipulation and abuse (physical and verbal). 

And this is called narcissistic abuse. The partner in question then becomes the victim of her tormentor and her mental health can quickly deteriorate.

Yet even though experts agree that narcissistic abuse can take a toll on a woman, Narcissistic Victim Syndrome is yet to be officially recognized.

So can you now answer my question? Have you ever had to deal with a narcissistic partner?

If you’re not sure yet or want to check if your current partner isn’t a narcissist, I suggest you take a look at the following telltale signs.

These tactics can confuse you, make you question your sense of reality, and hurt your self-esteem.

This is why you should keep one thing in mind: Just because your partner has a “diagnosis” doesn’t mean he can use it to justify his abusive behavior.

At first, your relationship seemed perfect.

Narcissistic abuse tends to follow a clear pattern, although this pattern may look a little different depending on the type of relationship.

So it all starts slowly. During the emotional bombardment phase, he is gentle, kind and generous. So, you feel like you are the most fulfilled woman on earth.

Then slowly denial or other manipulative tactics begin to replace gifts and declarations of love.

Narcissistic abuse is often very subtle. Moreover, when it occurs in public, it can be so well disguised that others hear or see the same behaviors as you but do not recognize them as abuse.

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You may not even fully understand what is going on. You only know that you feel confused, upset, even guilty of your “mistakes”.

You hope your friends and loved ones will believe you but unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen. Your loved ones may not doubt your belief that you have been abused, but they may question your perception of events.

And this doubt can be doubly damaging. Not only does it dismantle your faith in your loved ones, it can make you doubt yourself.

The smear campaign

People with narcissistic traits often have to maintain their image of perfection to continue to gain the admiration of others. 

So once you start reporting issues or questioning their behavior, they can come after you.

Thus, they insult you, they use others to criticize you and talk about your “harmful” behavior to those close to you.

In short, a narcissistic partner does everything to discredit you. After all, he’s got a lot of charm, and the person you knew at the start of your relationship is always there FOR OTHERS.

So he has no problem convincing your friends that he has your best interests at heart and that you are breaking up your relationship with your “crazy” and “irrational” behavior. 

If you want to know if you’ve ever been abused by a narcissistic partner or are in a relationship (right now) with a narcissistic partner, here are the 9 telltale signs.

If they sound familiar to you then you have been or are experiencing narcissistic abuse before.

1. You have trouble recognizing yourself.

In the face of violence, many people end up changing their personalities in order to cope with the abuse. All this in order to protect themselves. 

So, to avoid arguments, you’ve given up on your friends, your interests, your family, and maybe even your job.

And all of these changes often result in a loss of your identity.

2. You feel like you can’t react.

People respond to abuse and other trauma in different ways.

You can try to confront the person who is abusing you or run away from the situation. If these methods don’t work, or if you don’t feel able to use them, you can respond by freezing in place.

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This usually happens when you are feeling helpless. You then enter a state of emotional dissociation in order to decrease the intensity of the violence. Which soothes your pain for a short while. 

3. You always feel like you’ve done something wrong.

Abusive partners usually find a way to put the blame on you. They can achieve this by deception.

For example, they make you believe that something never happened or by asking you to apologize for something you are not at fault. 

Then they use rage and violence to defend themselves from your “accusations”. And these roadblocks of rage can leave you feeling helpless and dependent, which can last long after you break up.

4. You feel isolated.

When your loved ones aren’t listening to you, you probably feel pretty lonely. This makes you vulnerable to further manipulation. The person who mistreats you may bring you back with kindness, even apologies, or by pretending that the abuse never happened.

This tactic often works best when you lack support. You are more likely to have doubts about your perception of abuse when you cannot talk to anyone about it.

5. You feel restless and completely lost.

Narcissistic abuse can sometimes be unpredictable. For example, you never know if you’re going to receive a giveaway or a review. 

If you don’t know what someone is going to do or say at any given time, you may still be energized because you have to regularly prepare for conflict.

Worries about the constant stream of criticism and how best to deal with the abusive behavior that you are starting to recognize can also leave you constantly on edge. 

6. You are unable to set clear limits.

A person who engages in narcissistic abuse often has little respect for boundaries. When you try to set or enforce limits, your partner may challenge or ignore them.

Eventually, you might let go of your limits altogether. So even if you feel like leaving, he can be pushy to force you to push your limits again.

7. You are unable to make decisions.

If your partner devalues ​​you all the time, you end up losing your self-confidence. Often times, narcissistic abuse means that you make bad decisions and can’t do anything right.

An abusive partner may even call you stupid or ignorant, even though they may insult you in a deceptively affectionate tone: “Honey, you are so dumb. How would you manage without my help? ”

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Over time, you might start to absorb these insults and relate them to your self-perception, constantly questioning yourself.

8. You have symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Anxiety and depression usually develop as a result of narcissistic abuse. The significant stress you are facing can trigger lingering feelings of worry, nervousness, and fear.

You may feel hopeless or worthless, losing interest in things that used to bring you joy.

It’s also common to have a lot of confusion about what caused such a drastic change, especially if you don’t know much about narcissism.

9. You feel that your relationship has an impact on your physical health. Indeed, you have bizarre and unexplained symptoms.

Abuse can trigger feelings of anxiety and nervousness which sometimes translate into physical symptoms.

This includes: changes in appetite, upset stomach or nausea, stomach pain and other gastrointestinal disturbances, muscle pain, insomnia and fatigue.

The consumption of alcohol and other substances can sometimes seem to be an effective way to manage these symptoms, especially insomnia. So you may end up consuming more than you want.

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