How do you split a bill on the first date?

Posted by John Anumba

Splitting the bill on a first date is not a surprising question. I have seen readers ask these questions time without number and I think this is the best time to treat this question.

First of all, a date is not a business meeting where the bill is supposed to be a shared responsibility. 

Firstly, I will attack this question from the point of view that it is the guy that asked the lady out on a date. When this is the case then the answer is clear, the man should pay the bill.

Once again, I repeat, a date is not a business meeting; the topic of sharing the bill shouldn’t come up unless it is the lady that askes the guy out on a day.

Going further in this post, we will look at this question on the premise of a guy and the lady involved. 

How to split the bill for a man

If you are the man in the relationship, as a man, for the first date, you are supposed to be the man to pay for the first relationship. 

If you are the man going after the lady and interested in having her be part of your life, then you should be the one to be the man on the first date.

Not only because you want to show you are the alpha in the relationship, but because I think it has to do with the bro code.

It’s your job man, pay the bills.

If you are looking at a way to split the bill with the lady you have on a date, then it means that what you have with her is a business relationship and nothing else.

It doesn’t mean she will not invest in the relationship financially in the future, it only means that you will have to prove that you really want to be with her.

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When you become acquainted with her, that should be in future relationships, it is normal for her to take you out on special dates and pay the bills because you are special to her.

But for the first date, it is absolutely wrong for a guy to split the bill with a lady for a first date.

This is my candid opinion and doesn’t represent the opinion of the general public or that of professionals.

How to split the bill for a lady

If you are the lady, you should allow the man be the man and pay for his first date with you. It is a sign that he can take responsibility for his actions.

Splitting bills for a first relationship means it is a business relationship and not because you both want to be with each other.

If you insist on splitting the bills because you are trying to prove you are an independent woman, it might be okay but it doesn’t feel right for the first time.

After the first date and you know you earn more income than the guy or you just enjoy his company and want to invest in your relationship, then you can either invest in the relationship by sponsoring the next date or split the bill for the next date.

That said, common practice dictates that he pays for the first date; unless you are the one asking him out on a first date.

Is it okay to split the bills for dates?


This is a dicey question because there is a lot to say on this topic and there are lots of other factors to consider.

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There is no straight answer to this question because are some factors to consider.

First of all, we have to consider the length of the relationship.

Is it the first date or the third or fourth?

Is the lady earning more than the man or the man is earning more in the relationship?

And many more…..

Like I said earlier in this post, common practice demands that the guy be the man and pays for the first date not minding if he earns more than the lay or not. 

When the relationship has a future, there shouldn’t be any question about who splits the bills with who.

Relationships take work for them to be successful.

It the responsibility of both parties involved to make it work especially when finance is involved.

For a relationship that is already in effect, it is absolutely normal for both of you to work it out on how financial burdens should be managed unless you both are not thinking of the future.

Date bills are not supposed to be split, rather both of you should think of a way to make it work and how you can reciprocate the effort of your partner.

If he or she has taken you out on a date a couple of times, you should try to seek ways to reciprocate.

He/she takes you out…

You should take him/her out and make him/her feel special.

Give him/her a reason to understand that he/her is not mistaken to be with you.

That is how you make your relationship work.

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No two relationships are the same.

You have to first understand your partner and understand what works for both of you to make it last; that includes the finances involved and not the dates alone.

The finances that help a relationship work is not dependent on dates alone.

Sharing the bills on relationships will not be the only responsibility you will face in the future but much more.

So, study your man/woman and find ways to make your love life thrive.

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