You come back to work each morning motivated by your usual good mood and a good night’s sleep. With a smile on your face and a light spirit, you put your personal items on your desk, you go to the coffee machine and suddenly you feel bad.
In front of you are the surly colleagues who already, hardly the day started, complaining about everything and nothing. Your good mood takes a hit … and a cloud darkens your inner cheerfulness. You are angry. What’s the point of getting off on the right foot when all you have to do is put one on at the office and your day is ruined?
No matter how much you love what you do and the company you work for, the atmosphere in the office becomes more and more distressing because of one or more people with an aggressive attitude.
If this person also needs to be your office neighbor, the suffering increases and regular breaks become necessary.
How do you avoid sinking into depression or slamming the door and looking for work elsewhere?
Anyway, we know that people with temper are everywhere. What are the tips to stay in a good mood and continue to be happy at work when you are surrounded by energy eaters?
Tips for protecting yourself from unpleasant coworkers
People who are difficult to manage in companies can have very diverse personalities. There is the chronic latecomer, the perpetual moaner, the depressive, the aggressive, the paranoid, etc.
Make your bubble
To get away from the heavy atmosphere of a difficult colleague, many workers are fans of headphones. An iPod filled with soothing music is a simple way for many people to cut themselves off from the harsh, pointless comments made by a disreputable coworker.
For others, telecommuting is an option, but this opportunity is not given to everyone and not to everyone. Also, avoiding the person who is undermining your day does not solve the situation.
Make way for the imagination!
To keep control over her emotions when a colleague or a colleague makes her life miserable, Véronique imagines the person in ridiculous positions or situations: in the bathroom, in a pink tutu … “Their flood of nonsense then appears to me more. tolerable since I laugh in my head. “
Develop your sense of humor
For François, there are three strategies to adopt in front of his colleague, who talks all the time, who does not listen, who has a negative attitude about everything, in short, who siphons all his energy and raises the steam in him. These strategies are humor, focus and moving “goodbye”.
When the situation arises, François begins by systematically and humorously defusing the tendency for drama that his colleague instills in everything she touches or in all her comments. “It’s a bit like I was sowing the sun on its dark clouds. “
Then, when he has to discuss with her, he focuses on the desired goal. “Believe me, it’s not easy. With each attempt, you have to branch off, bring the conversation elsewhere, take the reins and give a good blow to bring everything back on the right track. And when the goal is reached … Bye-bye!
To leave his colleague, François developed a tactic not to get stuck in the door frame. “I wish him a good day by walking. It is very important not to stop, or even slow down. Otherwise, the trap closes for at least half an hour. ”
Adapt according to the colleague’s position
According to André, it all depends on the position your colleague occupies. If you are an equal, you have to stick to business matters, down to earth. “It puts the ego to sleep. If he’s a subordinate, give him enough tasks to keep him busy. If this is your boss, patience is essential.
For others, the best technique to destabilize a temperamental colleague is to become his total opposite: being kind, smiling, pleasant. It’s an honorable attitude, but not always easy to adopt when the pressure starts to build.
How to settle a conflict
When the situation gets complicated, that is to say when your working relationship with your colleague becomes difficult and confrontational, what to do? First, you have to learn to manage your emotions and to assert yourself tactfully.
The choice of words
Conflict management requires that every word be weighed in order to avoid double meanings, unnecessary blame and other risks of annoyance. In addition, the presentation of your complaints should be as factual and precise as possible. If, for example, you are dealing with a chronic latecomer, you do not need to worry about the reasons for the delay. It is better to record them and inform him of the consequences of them: missed client meetings, the start of a delayed collective operation …
When the attitude of your aggressive colleague shows a desire to escalate the situation, do not intervene immediately. Wait for the right moment. It is also preferable to have a one-to-one discussion, without witnesses and in a listening process. This usually forces the other to moderate their comments.
If, however, you have reached a limit and can no longer see your colleague in the face without enraging, but you want to resolve this situation in writing, be sure to reread yourself and put the forms into it. One solution: Before sending it, write down your email, save it and check it the next day, with a clear head.
Whether orally or in writing, when addressing your colleague, your tone should be devoid of aggression. Do not hesitate to rephrase the words of your interlocutor to be sure that you have understood and interpreted his words. Have a positive speech.
Try as much as possible to get your colleague back on the right path, or on a better path. At the end of your conversation, thank them for giving you their time and taking the time to listen to you.