Relationship

He thinks I have been taken for granted: How can I reverse the situation in my relationship

Posted by John Anumba

Sometimes we hear the testimony of women, who complain about the behavior of their companion. He doesn’t give them enough importance, he lets himself go and the couple is adrift. 

How can I turn the situation around when he thinks I have been acquired? 

We will do our best to ensure that this change in your relationship allows you to find pleasure in your love affair.

It will be important that this man realizes that you are a free woman, and that he must question himself if he wishes to continue this story with you.

He thinks I have been taken for granted: how does that translate?

In many couples, an imbalance can be created between the two people who make up this story. 

Often, we notice that this imbalance tilts towards the human side. The latter lets himself go, he no longer makes any efforts, and he no longer pays as much attention to his partner, as he believes he has acquired.

What types of behavior could your companion have that make you think he thinks you have been taken for granted?

He no longer makes efforts on a daily basis

He doesn’t help you prepare the meal, he doesn’t take care of the housework, and you take care of his laundry…

The list of tasks you do for him is long. This man doesn’t realize that he should be there and helping you on a daily basis.

Whereas when you first met, he was offering you flowers to curry favor with you, he no longer thinks about those little daily touches. 

He no longer tries to make you smile as before, with simple gestures that mean a lot. 

Invite you to a restaurant, plan a surprise romantic weekend, or even go to the movies just the two of you. It is these small daily efforts that you expect from him.

He lets himself go physically

He lets himself go completely. While at the beginning of your story it did its best to please you, it now only happens on rare occasions. 

He stays at home, slouching on the sofa or in his favorite chair, playing video games, or spending his time behind the TV. 

Unfortunately, that cliché might be true.

From a dress point of view, he no longer tries to put himself to his advantage to please you. 

He thinks that you are at his feet, and therefore, that he no longer has to make any efforts to seduce you on a daily basis. 

Even if you point it out to him, he may not be making an effort to change it. He doesn’t realize that you could choose to disappear at any time.

He thinks I have been taken for granted, how to reverse the situation: he no longer shows tender gestures

You can sit next to it for hours, without him taking your hand, or stroking your arm. He’s not as tender as he used to be, and he doesn’t make an effort to be as close to you as you might like. 

This man doesn’t feel the need to show his love to you, he certainly thinks that you don’t need it to love him, and he lets himself go completely in this state.

If you are always the person who shows signs of affection, and who makes sure to be close, it is normal that you want the tables to reverse at some point! It shouldn’t be a one-way street.

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He doesn’t realize that what he says or does could hurt you

Sometimes he makes comments about your family, friends, or even the way you look or dress, not realizing that what he is saying might hurt you. 

My husband criticizes me all the time, he speaks without filter, he believes you have been taken for granted and therefore does not do his best to hold back his hurtful words.

It can be difficult to go through on a daily basis. 

Critics that never stop, criticisms about your meals, and on a whole bunch of points. It could be those close to you who point out the way he talks to you on a daily basis. 

If you idealize this man, you might not realize that he is disrespecting you, and that he is not addressing you the way you are entitled to.

Before you get hurt any further, you will have to say stop to it all.

He doesn’t notice your efforts or changes

When you make an effort to dress, or when you put yourself to your advantage to please him or to go out, he doesn’t even notice it anymore. 

He doesn’t give you compliments, and you feel like these changes in your appearance are equal to him.

We often hear in couples, women complaining that their husbands do not notice their haircut when they leave the hairdresser, even after an extravagant dye! 

Unfortunately, this could be the case if you’ve been together for a long time, and the passion of the beginnings fades to make way for a routine and lists of habits for two.

How to turn the situation around when he thinks I’m done: your behavior

If this man has this behavior, and he is not doing his best to evolve, it could be because he does not realize that you are always free of your actions, and that you could leave him at any time. 

It’s simple, he thinks you have been taken for granted. But how do you turn the scales around?

If you behave in these ways, he may not feel the need to put in any effort on his own:

You would do anything for him

Whatever happens, you would do anything for him. You would be ready to give up everything for his beautiful eyes. 

Your work, your habits, your friends, and even your family! If he asked you, you would be ready for anything. 

You may have even moved for him, followed him blindly, or missed an opportunity to stay by his side.

He certainly feels it, and he feels you have gained through this behavior. 

This man must think that whatever he can do, you will stay by his side. Isn’t that what you do on a daily basis?

He thinks I’m done, how to reverse the situation: you agree to each of his decisions

At home, he’s the one who decides. When he makes a decision, you don’t always dare to disagree, and you go along with him, even if you don’t share the same ideas. 

You don’t want to upset him, or you naively think that what he does or chooses is good for you as well. He feels safe, and that gives him too much of a place in your relationship.

Your decisions should be made on an equal basis, by mutual agreement. Each of you should have a say. 

For that, you must learn to say no yourself too! Don’t let it all slip away, and speak up when you need to.

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You can no longer spend time alone or without him

When he’s not with you, you miss him, and the seconds feel like hours. The time is so long that you hurry back home, you shorten your outings, until you cancel them to stay by his side as long as possible. 

This is called emotional dependence, and this is not the way a couple should function.

It is not because you take time alone or with friends that you will not be able to enjoy his presence later. He will still be there when you come home in the evening. 

On the contrary, you will each have had experiences on your own, and you will certainly have a lot to tell each other when you meet again.

You idealize it

Without you realizing it, feelings gradually take precedence over reason. You idealize it, you don’t realize its flaws, and you put it on a pedestal. 

While it can be difficult to struggle, it is not good for your love affair. This man could play out of his place in your eyes, to allow himself different behaviors. 

You are madly in love, and he plays on it.

At the beginning of a relationship, it is quite normal to idealize your partner, it is even part of the stages of a romantic relationship

However, this should balance out over time, to live a healthy and fair relationship on both sides.

Reverse the situation when he thinks I have been taken for granted: What should I do?

You do not know how to reverse the situation, to make him understand that you are not acquired and that he must also make efforts on his side? 

Sometimes it could be quick, you just have to stick to some key points. 

Take confidence in yourself, and give yourself the place you deserve in this story. This will allow you to live a fulfilling relationship with the person you love.

He thinks I have been taken for granted, how to reverse the situation: learn to say no

The first point to take into account to find your place in the relationship, is to learn to say no. If you don’t like something he says or does, let him know. 

You have the right not to say amen to his every move, it is even a duty. 

This does not mean that you will get into perpetual conflict, just that you will assert your views.

Thus, the balance of the couple will become more egalitarian, for a story that is lived in two. 

By asserting yourself, you will regain your freedom, and this man may even be more attentive to what you want.

Show her that you can please others

He no longer makes efforts to seduce you, and thinks you have been taken for granted, whatever he may do? Show her that you could appeal to others. 

There are thousands of men who might find you funny, interesting, beautiful, and desirable. 

Watching these men walk around you, he might feel unsafe, and reconsider the way he treats you in your married life.

It could be the electric shock he needs to put in the efforts you have been waiting for! 

He’ll take care of himself again, he’ll show off, and he might surprise you again to keep your attention on him.

You don’t have to go as far as infidelity to show her that you deserve more. Without going elsewhere, playing on his jealousy for an evening could be most effective

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Put some distance between you

Sometimes there is nothing more effective than a little distance. 

Do you spend most of your days together, hang out on weekends and on vacation? 

Go on your own for a few days, alone, with friends or with your family. 

This will allow you to breathe for each other, and you might even take the time to think about your relationship, to make a decision about your story.

This separate time will also give this man the opportunity to feel a lack about you. He will realize that you are important to him, and that the time without you seems very long. 

So, when you return, he could do his best to show you his desire to share moments with you.

You might also consider using couples therapy, with an expert who can help you create a real relationship with your spouse.

He takes it for granted, how to turn the situation around: do things for yourself

Go out with your friends, go shopping, or start a new activity that appeals to you! Do things for yourself every day, without asking their advice. 

This will make you feel more detached, and your relationship should return to a healthier turn. 

You can also take a distance from your relationship problems, to come back in a good mood and ready to change what no longer suits you.

Trust yourself as you are

After all, if he is in a relationship with you, it is not without reasons. 

Even though you may feel like he is no longer paying attention to you, remember that he is with you because he knows your qualities. 

Become aware of these. 

You don’t need to idealize it, or show off it to your detriment. You too deserve an important place in this story!

If he notices that you are regaining confidence, that you find yourself beautiful, and that you are exploring everything that you have always dreamed of trying, he will find you attractive. 

This is one of the most effective ways to know how to win a man’s heart. His gaze and attitude should also evolve in a positive way. 

He will put aside his narcissistic temperament. And you can find a relationship and a fulfilling sex life, to be happy together.

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